Preparing for More Than a New Backpack

Every August, parents prepare their children for a new school year. They buy backpacks, replace shoes that no longer fit, label school supplies, and gradually settle back into routines after a summer that often looks very different from the months ahead.

These are all important parts of preparing for school.

As a Canadian Certified Counsellor and Certified Child Life Specialist, I've learned that children are preparing too. Their preparation just looks a little different.

By the time the first day of school arrives, many children have already spent days or even weeks thinking about what the year ahead might be like. They wonder whether they'll know anyone in their class, if their teacher will be kind, where they'll sit, what recess will be like, or whether they'll remember where to put their backpack. Some children imagine everything going well. Others imagine everything that could go wrong. Most imagine a little of both.

This part of the transition is easy to miss because it happens quietly. Children are trying to make sense of something they haven't experienced yet. They're filling in the gaps with the information they have, stories they've heard, previous experiences, and sometimes their own imagination.

That's one of the reasons I find myself paying attention to a question that seems to come up every August.

"Are you excited for school?"

There's nothing wrong with asking it. Many children are excited. But if the conversation ends there, we may miss everything else they're carrying into the first day.

Transitions are rarely defined by a single emotion. A child can be excited about meeting their teacher while also wondering whether they'll make friends. They can be looking forward to seeing classmates while worrying about finding the right classroom. They can be proud to be starting something new while still feeling disappointed that summer is over.

If you've ever asked your child whether they're excited and been met with a shrug or an "I don't know," you're not alone. It can feel like an unexpected answer, especially if they've been talking about school for weeks. But "I don't know" is often an honest response. Children aren't always choosing between excitement and nervousness. They're often trying to sort through several thoughts and feelings at once.

Rather than ending the conversation there, I like to ask one more question.

"What are you wondering about?"

That question creates space for children to share what they've already been thinking about. Sometimes they'll tell you about a worry you hadn't considered. Other times, they'll share something they're genuinely looking forward to. More often than not, they'll tell you something you never would have learned if you'd stopped after the first question. Children are often thinking about things adults never think to ask about.

That conversation doesn't have to solve every problem or answer every question. Sometimes its greatest value is simply helping us better understand the experience our child is already having.

There will always be parts of a new school year that we can't prepare children for. We can't predict every challenge, every friendship, or every unexpected moment they'll encounter. What we can do is become curious about the thoughts they've already been carrying before the first bell rings.

Preparing for school is about more than a new backpack. It's also about making time for the conversations that help us understand what our children have been thinking about all along.